Telefonica – the bane of my life

I would love to hear from anyone who has a good word to say about them. I used to think it was because we were English, but the Spanish also complain about them. I live in dread of having to phone directory enquiries because I know that my simple request could drag on for days, weeks – or in the case of ADSL – months.

Until recently, when you dialled 1004 for an operator, you waited for the electronic voice to say ‘Diga me’ (meaning ‘tell me’ in Valenciano) upon which time you shout ‘Hablas Ingles’, meaning you want to speak to someone in English. Then you get the awful piped music which has been the same for four years - ‘na na na - na na na - na na na na na na na - na na na - na na na…etc, (I think it was designed in the hopes that people would cut off rather than listen to it ) which you could listen to for 10 minutes – only to be found that you are then cut off and have to start again. They have very few English speakers, so the wait can be long. Now it has been changed to a fully automated system where you press 1 for this, 2 for that – but if you don’t understand what each option is saying you can go round in circles for ever – only to be cut off at the end of it.

ADSL is another matter. Any queries must be directed to the technical department where there are no English speakers. If you have a problem, and you don’t speak very good Spanish, you will need someone to make the call for you – or pay Telefonica 85 Euros to come out and check it. This would be a mistake as 99% of the problems are at their end anyway.

With Telefonica the customer is never right. If you complain, they will just cut you off. They have the monopoly and with no competition as yet, they treat their customers very badly. I have worked in a call centre in the UK, where all customer enquiries/complaints are logged, so that anyone else answering a call from the same customer can check the database to see what the enquiry is about and how another operator has tried to assist. Not so with Telefonica, no matter how many times you call, they have no record of any previous calls, or what the enquiry was about. The same enquiry can get you many different answers – none of which are very helpful.

In my business, property sales and rentals, I have to be able to answer enquiries at all times, and have five websites to control, therefore I need an ADSL connection at work and at home. As some areas still do not have telephone lines, even in an established area like the Jalon Valley, I suppose I am lucky that I have it at all, but I have moved home quite a few times in four years and each time the scenario is the same – a bloody nightmare. Now I am moving offices, which probably means I will be unable to work at the new one for the next eight weeks.

First you have to arrange the ‘alta’ and the ‘baja’, disconnection of existing line and reconnection at the new place. You cannot pre-order the ADSL connection, nor can you have a new line until your old one is disconnected. Despite calling 10 days in advance (which is the required time), the line is never disconnected on time, meaning you cannot have a phone line in the new place. You cannot request your ADSL until the new phone line has been installed and switched on (there is a 24 hour delay between installation and a working phone). ADSL then takes 21 days, which in my case has been up to eight weeks each time. Despite the fact that it is a business line, they just take their own sweet time. Meanwhile, you are making endless calls to find out the problem, and each time the operator will give you a different story – it is on, the problem must be your computer – the telephone pole is too far from your house, we can’t install it – we have no record of you ordering it – you cancelled it last week………., the list goes on and on. Meanwhile na na na - na na na, is installed into your dreams and Telefonica brings out the violent side of your nature - even if you don't normally have one.